Hello John,

Thanks for getting back to me.

Please find attached a copy of my resume in PDF format.

In brief, you will see where I was at in life, immediately before, during and after my social, legal, and medical transition from male to female beginning in 2003 while working at Fifth Third Bank’s HQ in Cincinnati, Ohio, a region not famously known as a hotbed of liberal or progressive thought.

“If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”
President Lyndon B. Johnson (1960) • Bill Moyers Interview (Snopes)

I certainly do need assistance, but what that assistance means is the real question. If assistance means treating me as if I have the same privilege and agency as a CisHet White Male the system is designed to serve, that cannot logically serve the goal of advancing equal justice for those I hope to serve.

Without overwhelming evidence to the contrary, Black people are presumed guilty until proven innocent, and more often than not, no proof is ever sufficient. When I ask for assistance, what people hear is I am not competent. If I were capable, then why would I ask for help.

After all, this is America, the land of” ‘I ain’t asking nobody for nothin’ if I cant get it on my own.”

Manifest Destiny, American Exceptionalism, Rugged Individualism.

That is a self-serving self-image only made possible by exploiting a Common Good paid for by the blood, sweat, equity, land, and resources stolen over generations from those of Indigenous and African Ancestry, people who for every one of those generations up to this one, have been denied by law and custom, access to that same Common Good.

Interpersonal Racial Discrimination
Internalised racism undermines the mental health and material welfare of Black families numbering in the millions. Spread for generations through mass consumer culture, it is easy to find videos of Black men who un-self-consciously say they want to marry a light-skinned Black woman, settle down and make babies. That is normalised in music, television and films, dark-skinned men, light-skinned woman.

My family’s internalised race and colourism led to mental and physical abuse. My father and his siblings are all light-skinned enough to pass as White if they choose. I was 30 years old before my fathers Sister admitted to beating me as a kid, and a few more years before I found out she was angry I was so dark, she suspected that I was not my father’s child. When I told my parents about being beaten, punished for making up such a crazy story.

My next younger sibling was very light-skinned and could do no wrong. Even prison for drugs and jail for child abuse did not dull his lustre, while absolutely no achievement of mine was worthy of note. My father went out of his way to show me my brother was his preference and why. His never-ending game was exactly like the football gag between Charlie Brown and  Lucy, where she emotionally sets him up then pulls the ball away at the last moment.

Racialized Class Discrimination
Systems of belief reinforced by perception management, the normalised mass consumption of people, providing easy to believe rationalisation so large groups of people can feel noble amid atrocity. In such a system, the alignment of self-interest requires no deeper conspiracy. It is self-correcting, built on belief, as the shackles of a circus elephant.

The last person I thought my best friend, a White Trans Woman, changed from quoting MLK and Howard Sinn to quoting Rand Paul, packing a Glock everywhere, and attending Tea Party gatherings. I even attended a few meetings with her, trying to understand, perhaps keep her from slipping away.

One day when we’re driving to pick up some food, and out of nowhere, she turns and says, “You know whenever you talk about race, all I can hear is blah, blah, blah bad White people.”

I later found she had hacked my laptop and was spying on me. More weirdness followed, including inviting me to move into her house.

In late July of 2016, I returned to Ohio from Arizona to be with my mother dying from inoperable cancer, in a hospice. I have never heard from my friend again. I still love and miss the person I thought she was, the relationship I thought we had.

That is how racialised class perception engenders and normalises interpersonal racism.

The Colonised Mind
White people assume a certain religiosity in all Black people and often ask me why I don’t approach the Black Church or Black-led businesses? It is a projection of homogenised, commodified Black monoculture created and projected onto us by Whites and duplicitous Black artists who claim they had no other options. These Black artists could have joined together cooperatively all chose assimilation and personal ambition.

We endlessly hear about “Black Wall St” but rarely about the many successful Black organised cooperatives. We claim Black Pride while embracing White crony capitalist ideals of class success. These ideals don’t even serve poor Whites, but people of colour arguably pay a much steeper penalty for embracing these self-defeating ideals of achievement.

A widespread and often repeated trope is that homosexuality is a spiritual disease spread by Europeans. All across the US and Africa, you can hear it preached that there is no homosexuality among Black people in their natural state. We learned that from Missionaries and Slave Masters.  This narrative goes hand in glove with resentment at the perceived success by the White Homosexual Demons who use Civil Rights protest strategies pioneered by Black people.

You can hear Dave Chapelle lack of self-awareness; as he spelt that out in his last sad excuse for a concert. No study of African cultures has revealed a basis for the virulent homophobia that is now widespread across the African continent. It is the ironic, irrefutable sigil of the truly colonised mind.

The larger Black, Indigenous, and Latin communities have not and will not help LGBTQ+ people in any significant way that might be seen as approving our “lifestyle”.

The Forsaken
Lastly, if they bother to say anything at all, the majority of Black, Latin, and Indigenous people tell me words to the effect, “You know White people are not going to stand for us to do anything like that, so what is it you hope to accomplish.”

That is, of course, a rhetorical question, never meant to be answered. Unless you carefully perform, in my case, Blackness, there is a long list of actions that are considered trying to act White, or stupidly assuming you can do something everyone knows only Whites in this society can do.

Beneath that policing is a deep sense of anger, pain, and futility, and with no safe way to express it, we turn on our own, often with emotion and even physical violence, and justified with “Don’t hate the player, hate the game” as if humankind didn’t create the game.

I have studied hundreds of non-profit campaigns professing to help BIPOC LGBTQ+ people, but with few exceptions, they are designed to boost the brand of heroic leaders. There is never much detail about the people who are supposed to be the mission’s raison d’être.

Freedom of Asperation
Demoralised BIPOC LGBTQ+ people whistling in the dark for comfort will not take a leap of faith onboard a strategy utterly unknown to them without demonstrating its being on sound footing.

BIPOC LGBTQ+ people are risk-averse in a way people of White Privilege could understand but refuse to. It is far easier to take risks in hopes of gain when you were born into a world where every song, commercial, television show, film, every commercial for hair products, makeup, even clothes affirm that you are the standard of culture, intelligence, creativity, morality, virtue, physical and spiritual beauty by which all others are judged.

Many children I knew as a child were from second-generation Coal Mining families who migrated north to the Ohio River Valley in hopes of a better life. Poor people have more commonalities than differences but remember; these White children are a product of generations telling themselves, “I may be poor White Trash, but I’m still better than any nigga.”

By the age of ten, I’d often heard that from classmates, who learned it from their families. These kids also grew up being taught that no matter how poor their station of birth, through honest hard work, nothing is denied them, that their reach should always exceed their grasp. They also saw any advancement of a Black or Indigenous person as hubris, and a diminishment of their class status, driving a need to humble us in their righteousness.

To Black and Indigenous people often denied the opportunity to rise above a station dictated by race; whenever they hear people like me express dreams they have never seen any Black or Indigenous person achieve; they do not rally around in support; instead, it is seen as arrogant nonsense, driving a need to humble me in their righteousness.

Racialized Class is a Self Correcting System

What comfort most BIPOC LGBTQ+ people once had from family and community is frequently stripped away. That leaves us with little to comfort ourselves with other than building new families of choice, creating self-affirmation performances funded by donations.

In summary, I mean to misbehave, disturb the comfortable, comfort the disturbed, to quietly help people in need just enough to discover their power without getting caught.

BIPOC LGBTQ+ people deserve better, and for me to bring Siofra Tech to fruition requires people like you to do more than “assist” but advocate both publically and behind the scenes, a co-conspirator willing to frequent so-called “smoke-filled back rooms of business and government” where we are denied access, risk pissing off and losing the goodwill of your White peers who will think you a race and a class traitor.